My Food Journey (Novel)

Well… So much for posting everyday.. But it is day 10, and it definitely hasn’t been perfect. I’ve been eating pretty well considering I don’t have much money for healthy foods, but the working out has been averaging to working out 3-4 times a week. Which isn’t bad but I wanted to work out everyday if I’m not too sore. On the days that I’m deatly sore I would recover. But with life, and the occasional excuse I haven’t been as hardcore as I wanted to be. But there’s still 20 days!!

However this post is going to be about my food journey. It all starts the day I had my first breath, I was doing well, I got all the nutrients I needed and didn’t have any cravings, i took regular poops. But once i was about 3 or 4, I had my first sip of coke. It was like nothing I had ever tried before, so sweet and bubbly, the way it hurt my throat felt good. I was hooked.

My mom was the 8th of nine kids, so needless to say no one really taught her how to cook, so it was a lot of burnt mac and cheese, and chicken tenders. The dinners became more delicious and home-cooked as I got older, but not necessarily healthier. In 6th grade I had experience my first bag of hot Cheetos. I found they went perfectly with my coke addiction. From that point on, there were many meals that consisted of only hot Cheetos, and coke. Sometimes I had the occasional barons pizza, or my favorite treat, a McDonald’s happy meal. The snowball of unhealthy food choices just kept rolling as I grew older. In high school you had a plethora of options to eat from, I didn’t know where to start. But i quickly found my routine, in grabbing a chicken sandwich and fries. Sometimes it was just a heaping tray of fries. I loved fries. I began to have cravings from anything and everything that was sweet, salty and man made. I ate many christmas cakes, ding dongs, chips, hot dogs, mexican rice, burritos. You name it. Once the cravings kicked in I began to binge eat like no other. I would eat and eat, until i felt sick to my stomach, and then wait 20 minutes, just so i could eat some more. Luckily I was never an overweight kid ( how? I’m not sure I was relatively active but it was still amazing that i never gained 100 pounds. ) But i definitely ate like one. I was never ashamed of it though because I was relatively small.

The eating stayed the same as i got older, and entered the hard world of adulthood, it was then that i noticed my face was a little rounder. I had a slight bulge of stomach, I would turn sideways and not be able to suck in like I used to. My heaviest I’ve ever been is 155, it’s not crazy but I definitely wasn’t comfortable with it, especially with my short 5’3 frame. And up until I turned 19 I was always around 135.

I started to work out once every three months ha, but my diet stayed the same. It wasn’t until I got with a guy named Josh whose diet strictly consisted of cheese pizza, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese. I felt like I was dating a six year old. It wasn’t until then that I had realized I had attained much more grown up tastes over the past couple years. I succumbed to this diet he had because it was easier to make one thing as opposed to two. I started to feel terrible. I was feeling sick all the time, but still binge eating. I drank at least two redbulls a day, and had 3 sodas or more. But.. he also had bottled water at his house. My family never bought water, and never really made it a priority to drink it. So i tried to drink more water ( some how it was easier to convince my self to drink bottled water than tap). I began to thirst more for water than soda. The bubblies just weren’t as satisfying as the smooth silver tasting water.

I hit a point where i put on one of my favorite dresses, and it no longer looked the same. It was a tight dress so it severely displayed a defiant line where my stomach roll was, with a flat pelvis beneath it. I was done. I started making healthier meals for myself, while i still cooked the kids meals for the boyfriend. I tried going to the gym more frequently, and it wasn’t until we broke up, that i hit it even harder. At first i was sad, so food wasn’t the same anymore. The thought made me sick, I only ate when I was happy or bored, so that helped me eat less ( I was still eating just much smaller portions) and i started eating more fruit, less bread, and less sugar, and more protein, and greens. The gym became somewhat of an escape, i still wasn’t in love with it most days, but i always felt better after a good ole’ sweat. I had lost 15 pounds and got down to my lightest at 129. I became happy and bored again, and the binge eating came back with a vengeance. This time though i was making better food choices when I could, eating salads, and veggies as snack, but i’d still find myself eating three blueberry muffins after. I didn’t eat much fast food anymore, I would just go out to eat more and eat a lot of pasta, and had many cravings for cheesecake.

Food is one of the hardest addictions to overcome. Because unlike other addictions, you do NEED food you can’t just quit it cold turkey, although some people try, you need food to survive. Its taken three years for me to slowly substitute bad meals for good ones, and i recently started making SMOOTHIES, they are so delicious, and oh so easy! They have curbed my hunger like no other! Before I could eat three servings of pretty much anything, now I can eat maybe one serving and feel uncomfortably full. I don’t crave pasta, or bread. And i found the easiest dinner to make. I take some chicken breasts, broccili, tomotoes, and sweet or regular potatoes ( i know regular potatoes aren’t as good for you ), and you just put all that ish in the oven with some seasonings, olive oil, and voila, a healthy dinner. The great thing about this “diet” that I’m on is that it doesn’t feel like a diet. It’s not extreme in cutting out carbs, or calories, i just eat better healthier things. I still eat processed sugar on the occasion, like in my coffee or tea ( i try to get raw sugar when i can) but even with that I still lose weight. I’m also trying to fight the urge of eating the delicous creation of cherry limade sherbet at braums. I’ve had a couple cones so far, but other than that my healthy eating is on the right track. Don’t go for those fad diets on the internet, find something you like, research different diets, and find the best one for you!

-A

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