Being Independent

independent blogI’ve learned a lot over the past year, and my independence is one of the many. Even though it’s becoming more of a regular thing, independent women are always questioned. Why did you decide to live alone? Why are you going there alone? Are you going with someone?

It’s doesn’t always have something to do with gender. Doing things alone in general is still just strange to some and perhaps sometimes unsafe in some cases.

I feel i was born to be independent. I was running away from my mom’s loving hand at five years old, eager to approach all the adventures of growing up. Through out some of my experiences I lost myself, got myself trapped in relationships. I would try and plan out my dreams around others, to keep them happy so I wouldn’t disappoint them, so I wouldn’t leave them.

But I got out of those situations with so much more clarity. The only way I was going to be happy was to do the things I wanted to do, wether that ended up with me leaving or disappointing people. You do not NEED anyone. Of course its nice to have someone, or have people. But you do not need them. There have been many times when I felt that I needed someone but none of my friends were there. Not because they didn’t want to be, they just had their own problems to deal with. You’re the one who picks yourself up from the ground.

I’ve learned to love myself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’ve learned how to cope, and handle situations on my own. Of course I love having a family member or friend to vent to if I feel like I want that. But I don’t need it. I probably like being alone more than most people, I feel most at peace when I’m alone. I can make myself happy. Sometimes saying that sentence feels as if I’m trying to prove myself to someone or to the world. That yea I can be alone and happy. But it’s true, you can.

This is not me saying to dislike being around others. By finding this empowerment in myself, I’ve had the ability to love stronger, to be more welcoming to new people in my life. I’m more positive, more creative, and motivated. To be independent means, free from outside control; not depending on another’s authority. It’s extremely liberating, and a completely healthy thing to do. Go to the park or to a coffee shop alone, leave your phone in the car, and experience the world around you. It’s actually pretty surprising all the wonderful people you can go out and meet if you go out alone, open to a strangers conversation. Of course take the safety precautions you have to ( I was raised by an overly paranoid mother so these thoughts do also cross my mind ).

I’m sure I have much more to learn about being independent with this move coming up in two weeks! I started working at 17 and hustled to get everything myself, so I’m pretty excited and pretty damn proud of myself.

Go love the world – Ash




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