Driller Crossfit | Day 17

I freaking love Crossfit. Last summer I had worked out by myself, forced myself into the yellow purple land of planet fitness, and get my work out on. I got some decent definition, and did pretty well by myself. Still had quite a bit of stomach fat, but what can I say I love me some pasta. I originally thought that Crossfit was just for intense athletes, and never thought I could get in shape enough to join. However that is not the case. Anyone can do it, there are all different kinds of people there, some are beginners, and some are experts. But no matter which one they are the whole class is super encouraging, and team oriented.

What I dislike most about working out is having to think about the workout. I like it to be a mindless activity, an escape for my brain. Which makes Driller Crossfit a perfect match. The coach Victor is super amazing, he’s encouraging, and knowledgable. The workouts are hard, I’m lifting weight, gaining muscle, and at the end of the work out, I collapse on the ground with my tomato red face, blink away the sweat, and I think to myself “Well I have proven to myself today that I am not a lazy fu*k” and its a freaking great feeling. To know that you have accomplished something that was so hard for you. It has been a month or so that I have been doing Crossfit, and i hope I never have to go back to a regular gym again.

So the fitness isn’t hard to keep up with, the eating on the other hand has been a bit tricker. Not because I’m having cravings for bad food, but because I have no money for healthy food right now! I’m am ballin’ on a budget, and that budget is super small, like penny sized. The family is a bit low on the funds as well, so there is not much healthy in the house right now. Which my body is feelin it. All I want are my delicious fruit smoothies, and a grilled chicken breast with broccoli and spinach, but alas a budding freelance job has its spurts of money, and its downtimes of empty pockets. It’s been a lot of bologna sandwiches, bowls of cereal (which I’m sure isn’t healthy), and drinking milk to help recover my muscles. So it’s about time to get a part time job to have a nice steady income, that will be mainly for food ha. All my other jobs pay is so sporadic, a girl needs to eat let me tell ya! If anyone has some creative ideas of how to turn a piece of wheat bread with nothing else but wheat bread into a delicious healthy snack let me know 😉

Check out Driller Crossfit http://www.drillercrossfit.com/

-A

My Food Journey (Novel)

Well… So much for posting everyday.. But it is day 10, and it definitely hasn’t been perfect. I’ve been eating pretty well considering I don’t have much money for healthy foods, but the working out has been averaging to working out 3-4 times a week. Which isn’t bad but I wanted to work out everyday if I’m not too sore. On the days that I’m deatly sore I would recover. But with life, and the occasional excuse I haven’t been as hardcore as I wanted to be. But there’s still 20 days!!

However this post is going to be about my food journey. It all starts the day I had my first breath, I was doing well, I got all the nutrients I needed and didn’t have any cravings, i took regular poops. But once i was about 3 or 4, I had my first sip of coke. It was like nothing I had ever tried before, so sweet and bubbly, the way it hurt my throat felt good. I was hooked.

My mom was the 8th of nine kids, so needless to say no one really taught her how to cook, so it was a lot of burnt mac and cheese, and chicken tenders. The dinners became more delicious and home-cooked as I got older, but not necessarily healthier. In 6th grade I had experience my first bag of hot Cheetos. I found they went perfectly with my coke addiction. From that point on, there were many meals that consisted of only hot Cheetos, and coke. Sometimes I had the occasional barons pizza, or my favorite treat, a McDonald’s happy meal. The snowball of unhealthy food choices just kept rolling as I grew older. In high school you had a plethora of options to eat from, I didn’t know where to start. But i quickly found my routine, in grabbing a chicken sandwich and fries. Sometimes it was just a heaping tray of fries. I loved fries. I began to have cravings from anything and everything that was sweet, salty and man made. I ate many christmas cakes, ding dongs, chips, hot dogs, mexican rice, burritos. You name it. Once the cravings kicked in I began to binge eat like no other. I would eat and eat, until i felt sick to my stomach, and then wait 20 minutes, just so i could eat some more. Luckily I was never an overweight kid ( how? I’m not sure I was relatively active but it was still amazing that i never gained 100 pounds. ) But i definitely ate like one. I was never ashamed of it though because I was relatively small.

The eating stayed the same as i got older, and entered the hard world of adulthood, it was then that i noticed my face was a little rounder. I had a slight bulge of stomach, I would turn sideways and not be able to suck in like I used to. My heaviest I’ve ever been is 155, it’s not crazy but I definitely wasn’t comfortable with it, especially with my short 5’3 frame. And up until I turned 19 I was always around 135.

I started to work out once every three months ha, but my diet stayed the same. It wasn’t until I got with a guy named Josh whose diet strictly consisted of cheese pizza, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese. I felt like I was dating a six year old. It wasn’t until then that I had realized I had attained much more grown up tastes over the past couple years. I succumbed to this diet he had because it was easier to make one thing as opposed to two. I started to feel terrible. I was feeling sick all the time, but still binge eating. I drank at least two redbulls a day, and had 3 sodas or more. But.. he also had bottled water at his house. My family never bought water, and never really made it a priority to drink it. So i tried to drink more water ( some how it was easier to convince my self to drink bottled water than tap). I began to thirst more for water than soda. The bubblies just weren’t as satisfying as the smooth silver tasting water.

I hit a point where i put on one of my favorite dresses, and it no longer looked the same. It was a tight dress so it severely displayed a defiant line where my stomach roll was, with a flat pelvis beneath it. I was done. I started making healthier meals for myself, while i still cooked the kids meals for the boyfriend. I tried going to the gym more frequently, and it wasn’t until we broke up, that i hit it even harder. At first i was sad, so food wasn’t the same anymore. The thought made me sick, I only ate when I was happy or bored, so that helped me eat less ( I was still eating just much smaller portions) and i started eating more fruit, less bread, and less sugar, and more protein, and greens. The gym became somewhat of an escape, i still wasn’t in love with it most days, but i always felt better after a good ole’ sweat. I had lost 15 pounds and got down to my lightest at 129. I became happy and bored again, and the binge eating came back with a vengeance. This time though i was making better food choices when I could, eating salads, and veggies as snack, but i’d still find myself eating three blueberry muffins after. I didn’t eat much fast food anymore, I would just go out to eat more and eat a lot of pasta, and had many cravings for cheesecake.

Food is one of the hardest addictions to overcome. Because unlike other addictions, you do NEED food you can’t just quit it cold turkey, although some people try, you need food to survive. Its taken three years for me to slowly substitute bad meals for good ones, and i recently started making SMOOTHIES, they are so delicious, and oh so easy! They have curbed my hunger like no other! Before I could eat three servings of pretty much anything, now I can eat maybe one serving and feel uncomfortably full. I don’t crave pasta, or bread. And i found the easiest dinner to make. I take some chicken breasts, broccili, tomotoes, and sweet or regular potatoes ( i know regular potatoes aren’t as good for you ), and you just put all that ish in the oven with some seasonings, olive oil, and voila, a healthy dinner. The great thing about this “diet” that I’m on is that it doesn’t feel like a diet. It’s not extreme in cutting out carbs, or calories, i just eat better healthier things. I still eat processed sugar on the occasion, like in my coffee or tea ( i try to get raw sugar when i can) but even with that I still lose weight. I’m also trying to fight the urge of eating the delicous creation of cherry limade sherbet at braums. I’ve had a couple cones so far, but other than that my healthy eating is on the right track. Don’t go for those fad diets on the internet, find something you like, research different diets, and find the best one for you!

-A

30 Day Challenge

IMG_1474

I’m what you might call a bipolar gym user, in the winter I rarely go to the gym, there’s so many excuses… it’s cold, it’s cold, and it effing cold!!! Also there is plenty of food to eat, and i need blubber to keep warm! But once spring rolls around I am itching to get those pounds off. I have this inner battle I think most of us women go through, where we aren’t quite “fat” but we aren’t “skinny” either. We go back and forth saying to ourselves, ” well you know this stomach roll isn’t so bad, I’m only human after all” to saying “Oh my gawd I look pregnant, how did i let myself go like this???!!” And it’s in those freak out fat moments where you say to yourself “alright the fact that you named your muffin top is enough, it’s time to get off my ass and lose this weight!”

Now when I lose weight I am sure to not go on any crazy fad diets or workouts, I couldn’t be bulimic, or anorexic if I tried ( and I have tried back in the day). I just cut down my processed food, eat A TON more fruit, and fresh cooked chicken, and I workout about 3 times a week. But just to keep myself in check, and to make sure I’m ready by summer time, I’m posting for 30 days about my progress. This is to help me stay accountable, and it will help me really see my progress. I want to push myself a little further and get a little stronger. I want to be the hottest me this summer lol and the healthiest. So watch out on my instagram, snapchat, and blog, because I will be posting updates.

I have been eating better for the past month, and getting back into a routine of working out, and have already lost 7 pounds. For me its not about the scale though, it’s more about gaining muscle and staying healthy. I still have so much to work on, so lets see how this turns out by day 30!

– A

Don’t Let the Muggles Get You Down

I remember walking out onto the stage for the first time-butterflies swirling around in my stomach and waves of nausea rolling over me as I breathe in and out to try and keep myself calm. I say the first line. With every word I dive deeper into my character, and I turn into someone else. The butterflies transform into dragons breathing fire of excitement into the pit of my stomach. I blink away the blinding lights and the crowd is a blur all I can see is the environment I’m imagining myself in.

Once the final line is said, a smile stretches across my face, and unbelievable joy swells up inside of me like a hot air balloon. It’s a high you can only experience onstage.

In theatre I had always doubted myself, never thought of myself as good enough. I had an incredible theater teacher, Mrs. Jenkins asked me to audition for the top theater group because she saw the potential that I couldn’t. When I got into the class, I still didn’t believe in myself, especially because there were so many other kids that were better than me. But they had been in theater for years and I had only just started. Just like with anything, you have to practice for years before you really become an expert of your craft.

Like funny man Steve Martin said, “Thankfully persistence is a great substitute for talent.” Living in mediocrity is unimaginable for me. My art is an extension of who I am- it represents me. It gives me purpose. My passions can’t fail. These are my only options at success. Even family members tell me I can’t do it, or that I should be more practical and go back to school. Life will throw some curve balls that will make you feel like giving up. Just the other day I got my laptop stolen from my car that had all of my projects I was working on, was I upset yes, nevertheless it was like the universe was testing me, and all it makes me want to do is overcome.

It’s hard to go against the status quo, but that’s what all the successful people do. Keep positive people around you, and don’t let the negative ones affect you, or in Harry Potter terms: don’t let the muggles get you down! You will succeed, and you can make your passion your future, but YOU have to believe in YOURself.

-Ash